When I first arrived in Chiapas last June, Margarita was praying for Agusto’s wife, Elizabeth, who was feeling a little under the weather. I joined in, we all did. Agusto is one of the film Evangelism workers. We got on the bus and traveled about 2 ½ hours to pray for her. As I laid hands on her the thought came to me “She will be called an oak of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of my splendor. “ “Oh, God is going to heal her!” I thought. I shared this with her, and we prayed with joy.
I began to find out about her. She was 26, married since the age of 14, not at all unusual among the Tzeltals. She and Agusto have 5 beautiful children. She loves the Lord with a passion and she told Him she wants her life to bring Him glory. She and the children were planning on going with Agusto to the jungle to preach to the Chol Indians during the month of August. She couldn’t wait to get better to do all this.
As the weeks went on, we kept hearing news that didn’t sound good. She felt worse. She and her husband has gone to Dr. after Dr. and she was growing weaker. We went to pray for her a couple more times, again I heard in my Spirit “She will be called an oak of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of my splendor. “ Oh, she will be healed! I was excited, and I kept sharing that with her. I held her hand, looked into her eyes, and we smiled knowing healing was coming. She told me how she met her husband, then how she met her Lord. What an amazing spirit this woman has!
She went to a hospital in the town of Villahermosa and we drove 3-4 hours each way to pray for her and to encourage her. She was in pain, wasting away, but excited and waiting for healing. “When He heals me,” She said, “ I will never stop praising His name and talking about Him!” And then the diagnosis came. Cancer. Not long to live. No chemo, too late. Too advanced. The Dr. recommended she go home to die.
But… did I not hear? Did we not pray? Can you not heal her, Father? Does your word not say ‘What is impossible for man is possible for God’, ‘Heal me oh lord, and I will be healed’ ‘Come boldly into the throne of grace..” Oh, we have prayed! With her, and away from her. We have people praying in the Philippines and Africa, Mexico, Paraguay, Argentina and the US- people of faith. Doubtless, you have received emails from me asking for prayer!
Yesterday was her 27th birthday. She is now on medication so she doesn’t have the searing pain, and she can walk all by herself. We took her a cake and had “mole” and sang Happy Birthday to her. She looks radiant, now that she feels better. But how she feels is not how she is. The cancer is invading her entire body, the tumors are growing, and even protruding. She is peaceful, she is ready to go home.
She says she will never stop praising her wonderful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If He heals her, she will praise Him on earth. If He doesn’t, she will praise Him in heaven. I thought as she spoke, “She is beautiful! She is truly radiant! She is, already, displaying His splendor!” She has a treasured cloth bag hanging by her bed. It is full of the things she has collected to have buried with her. Pictures of her babies. Her husband. Her mama. A worn, tattered Bible.
We laid hands on her, and we prayed. I personally prayed, again, “Father, heal her.” And as I prayed that prayer, the thought came to me “Pray the way I taught you to pray.” As we drove home yesterday day I kept pondering… “Pray the way I taught you…” What did He mean? What is He referring to?
Oh no, not that! Not that particular prayer! How did He teach us to pray? He said, when you pray, pray like this: “Your will be done, here on this little planet, exactly the same as it in done heaven….” Just like He taught.
I believe He can heal. I believe He will withhold no good thing from those whose walk is upright, I believe that the angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him and He delivers them….
…..but what do I do with a God that doesn’t heal? What do I do when I can’t explain what Jesus is doing? Will I remain true when He doesn’t stop a tragedy?
A good friend reminded me of John the Baptist. There he was, believing. Waiting. He announced the Messiah, then was arrested and waited in prison for Him to come save him. He sent out word to Jesus “Where are you? Are you who I thought you were?" and Jesus answered, “I’m busy healing the sick , raising the dead" (my paraphrase) “See what I’m doing.” And then He adds, “Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.” I thought of this, stunned.
Will I continue to cling to Him when His answer to my fervent prayer is “No!”?Can I still love and believe Him when He seems cold, aloof and uncaring?
Will I choose to love and obey Him when I don’t understand Him?
Oh, my spirit has been heavy as I have wrestled with this. “Yes, I do believe you, but why don’t you….?”
And finally, tonight: I will. I will always believe in you, Father, even when I don’t understand. I know you are kind and fair and just, merciful and full of grace, even when I don’t think I see it.
Through human tears, I am now able to wholeheartedly pray as You have taught us:
“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.”
I MUST add a P.S.:
ReplyDeleteGod reminded me to pray as Jesus taught us- but Psalm 119:49 also says: "Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope." There is nothing wrong with reminding Him of His promises to heal, while knowing, He is sovereign and it is ultimately His will that matters!
I believe in the healing power of God, but I also believe two other things. First, we need to be patient. God often likes those last minute plays. Second, sometimes God just wants us to come home. It seems that one is easier for the person dying to accept than it is for those of us left behind. It sounds like Elizabeth has reached a point where she can say, as Paul did, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."
ReplyDeleteIt is not always easy to accept God's will, especially when it doesn't go along with ours. But His will is perfect and He has proven it time and time again.
Thanks for the wonderful update. To know the will of God all we need to do is to look at Jesus who was the image and expression of Gods will on earth. Jesus always healed, always blessed, he came to give life and life abundantly. We need to remember that the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy. Jesus told his disciples to lay hands on the sick and they shall recover. Not maybe, or if its Gods will, they will recover. Not all are healed though, this is true, our job is to pray, believe and walk in faith. Its great to know that more are healed than die! God is Jehova Rafa, the Lord who heals!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post Bonnie. While reading it, God reminded me that He does heal, maybe just not in the way we want. After all, being with Him in Heaven is the PERFECT healing.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your great comments. Oh yes, i do believe in healing! It is when He doesn't heal that my faith keeps believing but yells out "Why?" See? you don't need to be perfect to do what I do. Thank you God for using imperfect people. That qualifies me! And for being ok with my questions. And for doing your will, perfectly.
ReplyDelete"Faith is deliberate confidence in a God whose ways you may not understand at the time." Oswald Chambers
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